There are times, since I was very young, I’ve been overcome in a negative way with a memory or thought of something I’ve said, or an action I’ve taken that was so stupid, cruel, embarrassing, or dishonest that it takes me back to the moment it happened. It’s like being almost struck by lightning or almost falling down the stairs. The last thing I want to do is clinch my teeth and hate myself, but it happens. Apparently my mind feels I have to…