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Executives at Fox News were left scrambling this afternoon when their number one, prime time star was shown not to be delivering the news, but just pulling shit out of his ass, and finger painting. One of Fox’s executive producers was heard to say, “Holy Moley, this could be another O’Reilly advertising fuckfest! Wait! I’ve got it! It’s perfect! We make Hannity a controversial, and completely unleashed children’s show! You know! We take the Pee Wee Herman format, without the monkey spanking and the stupid bow tie and I think we can save this whole advertising thing, no problem! We just have to come up with a good name for the time slot. Let’s see, Sean the Pawn, Hannity Schammady, maybe Hannity The Clown Prince of Fox News? Don’t worry guys, I got this!! By the way, who in the fuck is this Michael Cohen guy?”

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