A PRAYER OF THE EVANGELICAL CHRISTIAN

Dennis Hatfield
2 min readJul 17, 2023

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Dear god,

Thank you for making me superior!

Thank you for eliminating all my hateful ways: accept:

The Jews,

The black’s,

The atheist,

The gays, unless the timing right?

Strange people in general,

A free press, too much liberal, godless nonsense,

The government, local, state, and national!

The Native Americans,

The poor, but we pray to show them the way. But we still hate um!

The Mexicans,

Emigrant’s in general,rapists and drug dealers all!

The Muslims,

Baby killers, if mom dies it’s gods will!

The Buddhist’s,

The Chinamen,

The native Hawaiian,

Climate change,

And scientists in general! Unless we come down with a appendicitis, or cancer, or heart disease, or a stroke, or a bad tooth ache, then science is okay.

Shot’s, because they can save your life, and they hurt, and they’re scary!!

But because I offer them my thoughts and prayers, my god will bless them with his love, and help them see it my way, the only way, and go to heaven and live forever with grandma!

Thank you for the suckers, oops, I meant believers, that keep giving us money and other good stuff! Just ask clarence thomas, and his genius wife, Clara Bell, or whatever! Please god give us what we need!

Guns, guns and more guns,

Not killing babies, but lots of guns

White people, and clarence thomas!

trump,

Alcohol, and lots of guns,

Confederate flags, and guns,

Nazi flags, and guns,

A Supreme Court with 6 out of 9, not bad!

The eight commandments or is that 10, sometimes I forget! Oh yeah, if I forgot, guns, lots of guns!

Dear god,

Though we are always the victims,

We know our way is the only way!

You don’t ask for a blow job, you just say “ suck my dick now women!” True, sometimes it’s bend over, but let’s not pray about that now, it’s a timing thing.

That’s the way god meant it to be

And that’s the way it is

Just remember you poor, helpless sinners, you are going straight to hell and eternal damnation if you can’t see it my way!

A theocracy is the only way forward,

Just remember, god and I love you!

You stupid fuckers.

In your name we pray. Amen.

Gotta go to bed now, I leave the lights on and my gun handy!! I’m afraid of the dark! Think I’ll check out Mrs. Davis, 8 episodes, I think?

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